Because For You, I am Nobody

Hello there!

Is it difficult for you, to say you that you love me?

Is it difficult for you to say that I worth more than everything you have?

I'll do everything for you

Can you see that?

You are the pain in my heart

Can you feel what I feel now?

Can you feel that my love is just for you?

I guess you can't

Because in your heart, there is no me

There is no my name

Maybe there is someone else's

But who?

Can you please tell me, who is she? who is she????

I don't have any right to love you

And I don't have any right to ask you to love me

I remember everything you said to me

But, may be you don't

because for you, I am nobody :')

check this out in my soundcloud

Road to Doctor #1

memang tidak ada yang bilang jalan ini mudah
tidak ada yang bilang aku akan baik-baik saja
kadang aku merasa iri dengan mereka
di saat mereka libur, aku harus berkutat dengan kuliah ku
di saat mereka tidur di malam hari, aku harus belajar agar aku dapat menyembuhkan mereka
di saat mereka sudah lulus, aku hanyalah mahasiswa yang masih harus terus belajar
waktuku hanya habis untuk mempelajari penyakit mereka semua
terkadang aku berpikir, apakah semua ini perlu aku lakukan?
apakah aku perlu mengabiskan waktuku untuk belajar?
tapi...
setiap kali pikiranku menyuruh untuk berhenti, hatiku menolak.
aku ingat akan alasanku
aku ingat akan mereka
ada rasa bahagia disaat aku bisa menolong orang lain
ada rasa senang disaat aku bisa menyembuhkan orang lain
ada rasa bersyukur di saat melihat orang lain tersenyum kepada ku
perjalananku masih panjanggg...
sangat panjang.....
mungkin suatu saat aku akan jenuh
mungkin suatu saat aku memilih berhenti
tapi aku mohonnn..
jika saat itu tiba, ingatkan aku akan tujuanku.
ingatkan aku akan mimpiku.

Flavonoid

Don't you miss my outfit post? I know you do xoxoxo :D
Today I try to mix and match my croptee with (not really) tight skirt. White top is so easy to be combined with anything you have in your wardrobe. So I choose to be "brave" with this red skirt. I maximize my girly look by wearing headband.
Please don't be confused with this post's title. I entitled it not because this post is about research or something like that. I just love that word recently. I know it's weird but who cares? :D

croptee (by DoraclebyPSP)

statement necklace and headband (random store)

 

 Honestly this skirt belongs to my Mom. Yeah, she wore it when she was a girl like me. And now she inherit it to me. I love it so much

Good news for you readers because now you can make croptee with your own design. I just launched my online store named Doracle by PSP. You can order and customize your very own design there.
Not only croptee, Doracle will fulfill your thirst of fashion with the collection such as skirt, shirt, etc. Order now! xoxoxo

 This shoe is a gift :)

 I love this vintage bag so much. I got it from a thrift store with cheap price :)

See you in the next post! Keep healthy, please :)

The History

Today, I'm not gonna post some fashion tips, outfit, event, or something else like that. Just like the title, I'm gonna post "My Life History". Lemme play the time machine, bring you to my past till present....

1. 1995 - Born
I was born on May 21st, 1995 in the small town, Pontianak. I was born around 8 o'clock in the morning. At that time, the story began....
(photo will be uploaded soon)

2. 2000 - Kindergarten
On 2000, I joined kindergarten. I still remember when I played seesaw, swing, running around the yard. Ohhh, I miss my childhood moment. I feel like it happened last month :') On the graduation event, I was dancing on the stage. And my daddy came to see me. Happy ME :D

3. 2001 - Elementary
After one year in the kindergarten, I entered elementary public school (SDN 58 Pontianak). Because the school is so close to my house, I always walked to school. Even when I was in kindergarten, I walked alone too. I think I have an adventure gene. Because I can remember my way to school so easily. I only needed one time to go to school with my Daddy. And after that, I come to my school all alone. Isn't it cool? hehehe :D
(photo will be uploaded soon)

4. 2004 - Bad story
Something happened on this year, exactly on May 3rd. Something big but bad. Something that changed my whole life 180 degree. Something that I can't forget even until now. Something that makes me stronger. Something that made me feel down. Do you know what "something" is it? Any idea? can you guess? Whatever you think, let me clear it for you. On that date, my Daddy passed away by something called heart attack. I was in 4th grade (1st  semester) on that day. I didn't know what the meaning of death is. I never imagined that I couldn't meet my father anymore. On that day, I thought He just having a long sleepy time. A very long one. As time goes away, I started to know that my Daddy is no longer beside me. I started to know a scary word called "death". I started to know what the meaning of ambulance siren. Even until now, I have a bit trauma of siren. When I hear siren, especially the ambulance's one, Something come to my heart. A little bit hurt. Sometimes I even cry. The memory of that day come to my mind, and I can't refuse it.
After I finish my 1st semester, I moved to a new school and a new home. It's not hard to adapted with the school, the people and the environment since I was still in the same town. I graduated on 2007.

I took this photo on Christmas day 2011. I always come to visit my Daddy's place every Christmas day :)

5. 2007 - Junior High
On 2007, I entered junior high public school (SMPN 10 Pontianak). I met my best friends there. We even made a group called "D'panix". Such an "alay" group name, right? hahaha. D'panix consist 8 members (one more and we can be like Girls' Generation hehehe).  The members are Lysta, Valen, Iin, Nency, Dina, Jenni, Dewi, and Me! :) Dewi and Valen are the closest to me :)
I become a "real" teen in junior high. I shouted, I fought, skipped classes, spending most of time with my besties, become a little riotous, but still had a good score for my exams (I'm too cool, right?). 
I graduated on 2009 with an amazing score ( proud me ) xoxoxo :D

From left to right: Nency-Me-Dewi-Lysta <3

I know this photo is such a mess. But I love it so much <3

6. 2009 - Senior High
I entered SMAN 3 Pontianak. Proud to say it cause that school is an outstanding one. I think I started to become a good "teen". I never skipped class, but I still shouted loudly hahaha. Quoting from my friends, I have a high volume voice. Well, I don't think it's something to be changed. For me, it's something to be proud.  I entered so many extracurricular since I was an "active" human :D
I joined English club, Volley club, Cheerleadance (Cheerleader + dance), and Astronomy club.

 This is me with Valen

 Me with my classmate

 Look what I hold? It called "kuda lumping". Yes! I made it by myself. xoxoxo

Me and my classmates. Really miss them :') I'm the 7th girl from the right :)

Cheerledance team. Wohoooooooo :D

7. 2013 - Transition / Campus Life
You know what? I think 2013 was the most year when I used my brain to think about my future. After I graduated from senior high, I've been faced by so many option to continue my school. Of course I still want to continue my school. Because for me, Education will always be number one. Because I think "Learning" is my oxygen. Without learning anything, I can not be anyone. I know we can do learning not only from school. But I think school is the best place to learn a lot of things. We're not only learning about science or anything like that, We also can learn about an organization. How to work together with people. Have an argue but still combine a lot of minds and found the solution together. It feels awesome xoxoxo :D
I took 2 tests, STIS's  and SBMPTN. I took STIS (Sekolah Tinggi Ilmu Statitiska) because my mother want me to enter it. I took SBMPTN and choose medical faculty because I wanna be a good doctor. And surprisingly I passed both of them. And consequently I have to choose one of them. I thought about it all the time. And finally my heart choose medical. As I told you, that's my dream. Helping people, be a good God's hand to cure ill people. When I think about it, there's something popping in my heart. I feel happiness and excited at the same time. That's what I called passion. My passion is to be a doctor :)

Since I was a new student, I have to wear white clothes in the first year.

 One of the lab work I did. Proudly to say I'm "O" :D

 When I was in the library. While the other students seriously read a book, I seriously took selfies. C'mon, Why so serious? : xoxoxo

 LKMM moment :) One of my favorite welcoming event in campus. So many things I learned from that experience :)

 Me with my White Lab Coat. Am I cool or too cool? hahahaha :D

p.s : I'm gonna edit this post sometimes as the time goes and the other history created :)

Bring Me There, Please!

Hello readers :) How's life?
It's been so long since my last post. I miss blogging so muchhh. Like I've told you before, I'm a medical student. So I was so busy in my first year. I had to pass some welcoming event for a new student. It so tiring yet I'm excited. Because I've learned so many things. And how about my GPA? well, not bad. I'm satisfied with the result. Like you know, I love learning new things. And in medical, I learned awesome new things. So, I think that's how I get my GPA. Now, back to the main topic. This post entitled Bring Me There, Please!
This month is holiday month. So I wanna list some cool places I want to go to. All of them is flowery place. Because I love Flower xoxoxo. Here they are:

1. Sakura Garden
Well, if we talk about Sakura, the first city that will pop in our mind must be Tokyo. Let me introduce you Inokashira Park. Where Peaceful, romantic, sweet, and what-more-I-can-say I think is not enough to explain this fabulous Park.

 

2. Tulips Garden
Where do we find tulips? Of course Amsterdam is the ultimate answer. Keukenhof Garden is the best place where you can find Tulips Garden.

 3. Shibazakura Park in Japan
one word o describe this park, SPEECHLESS <3

I will post the other places that I want to go to.  See u in the next post :)